Apparently, America and Juno have broken all of their fingers and the reviewing is all up to me.
Our May outing was to Frederick’s, located in the bubble I hate to leave, Alamo Heights. Seriously, it’s not as snotty as most people think. It was a fine late spring Saturday evening. We had been drooling over the online menu for weeks, trying to figure out just what to order. This proves my thesis that all restaurants should have tasting menus. Anyhoo, the menu item that intrigued me the most was:
Asslette De Jambon De Parme and Fromage Manchego
Fresh Pan Seared Foie Gras with Calvados Flambed Apples
I hate to sound pretentious (bald-faced lie), but anyone who speaks French knows that the menu item does not match its translation. The dish offered is Parma ham with Manchego cheese, not foie gras. This, along with the K, should have given me pause.
On the appointed evening I arrived first and was seated in a small room off the main dining room. Why were we put in the time-out room? Eventually a couple of other people were seated in there, but the main dining room didn’t appear to be full. I like to people-watch, so our seating wasn’t ideal. I was kept busy by marveling over the wallpaper whilst I awaited America and Juno (see? Pretentious!) It was worthy of any brothel, especially the kind you see in movies. I don’t know what real brothels look like — probably like double-wide trailers. This stuff was a deep, shiny, crimson red with schmears of black scattered about. It really set the tone for the whole space.
Our waiter was a chatty sort, so I promptly found out that he had been a tour guide at the Alamo before joining the service industry. We discussed how many people asked if there was a basement in the Alamo thanks to PeeWee Herman. Then J and A arrived and heard the same stories.
Here’s the sad part: After all of that anticipation, I can’t remember what we ate. It was all quite good, very tasty, but not memorable. I took notes in order to avoid just this situation, and then I promptly lost the notes. Or maybe not promptly. I don’t know.
We shared two appetizers, one of which had something to do with crab. For our entrees, I’m pretty sure I had beef tenderloin, which was delicious and perfectly cooked. There was a fish dish from the special menu, I believe, and maybe duck. Or lamb.
Dessert is a required course, so we had some. There was some jasmine-scented ice cream involved, but it tasted like lavender — a bit lotion-y. America said it tasted like there was a massage in her mouth. Then we had a glass of tawny port.
So Frederick’s was altogether pleasant, but it’s a place you’d want to take people who already know you pretty well and know that you’re a doofus so you don’t feel the need to impress them. I give it two-and-a-half forks on a scale of four.
